Cleaning out the Inventory

blogdai has been following our government and its sense of frustration at the United Nations and its meddling in Nepal's internal affairs. The UN is insisting that Makune form a unity government. The little elf, to his credit, basic told the UN to go to hell and let Nepal make its own government. blogdai has also told the UN to go to hell on many an occasion, and this column will be no exception. In fact its time to take inventory of anyone we can think of who is worthless, burned-out, meddlesome and just plain incompetent and get them out of the country. It would be a wishful fantasy to request that the entire UNMIN leave Nepal, so let's just focus on some key idiots, shall we? Oh, and blogdai's wrath will not be limited to just members of the UN.

First, the worst....

LEAVE NEPAL NOW

1. Larry Robertson, UNICEF. This buffoon is the classic waste-your-time bureaucrat. Had the nerve to tell blogdai that UNICEF should be the only group conducting sanitation programs in Nepal and that all other groups are "ruining" our plans. Considering that Larry provides sanitation and water at a snail-like pace to maybe one or two villages a year tell us that saving children who are dying from diarrhea at an epidemic pace is not his priority. Hey Larry, lots of groups have lots of good ideas and Nepalis know best about how to help other Nepalis, so step aside, you monkey. Or would letting other groups help out "ruin" your job security? Larry's office is Near Patan, across from the zoo where the smart monkeys live. Drop in and blow him a ration of shit for being an autocratic prick.

2. Richard Ragan, WFP. We all had such high hopes for Richard. Young guy, can-do attitude. Turns out his innovative spirit was allowed to fester under the weight of Nepal's geographical obstacles and bureacracy. Hey Richard, you are not stuck buying rice from the Indian mafia. Food is available if you are creative. I'm sure Richard is patting himself on the back for winning some flimsy award for innovation. It seems he gave satellite phones to his remote employees and that was supposed to be a good thing. That's right, hide behind technology and call it progress. I don't recall a satellite phone ever providing food for the hungry. WFP's budget in Nepal is already down to zero, so why did you waste time and money on stupid Sat phones? It seems the only thing poor Richard is good for these days is writing articles about snow boarding in Nepal. Ol, Richard likes to take helicopters out on the WFP budget and snow board up by Manang. He's also fond of taking his staff up to the Last Resort off the Kodari highway for still more money wasting weekends. He's milking the international gravy train now and its time for him to go.

LEAVE NEPAL SOON

1. Kanak Mani Dixit. What's the point of his constant pro-India posturing? Do you think you are better than Nepalis?

2. King Gyenendra. That's right, ol' G. Told Prateek Pradhan of La Republica that the Nepali people "should get nothing" while slamming a glass of wine to the ground. You and your family are done. We don't want to see any more Shahs until your grandson is old enough.

3. Bal Mandir Orphanage. A child trafficking front run by the Koiralas. Fill out the phony paperwork, pay your money, look the other way, and buy a baby. Tragic.

4. The Maoists. Your movement is tired and people don't believe what you say anymore. Get out or get killed. Memo to Prachanda: I hear there's lots of work to be had all up and down the east side of India these days--lots for a Maoist to do. Shall I send a letter of introduction to Bihar for you?

SPECIAL MENTION

These guys never seem to get out of the way:

Ian Martin. Deposed and disgraced former head of the UNMIN. Begged to keep his job once and now continues to return for "trekking." Someone confiscate his diplomatic passport for the good of us all.

Girija Babu Koirala. Well despite blogdai's many predictions, it's clear that the old man will probably never die--ever. Fortunately, he and the Nepali Congress are becoming increasingly irrelevant so perhaps this is the best fate for the biggest and most selfish and power mad ego in Nepal. Sit back, watch, and deteriorate ol' babu; you've got it comming.

-=blogdai