Friday, December 14, 2012

Stop Reading! A Guide

Life in the internet community is busy.

We don't have time to waste on opinions, viewpoints and rambling pulp that goes nowhere or furthers a biased or improbable point of view. We have too many pages to view and too many clicks to execute. Time is precious and our attention spans are short. There are no minutes to spare for those who seek to monopolize our time telling us what we already know or what we know can never happen--it's a lot of data clutter and we don't need it.

Blogdai reader just prior to receiving our guide

So...

In an effort to bring efficiency to your day, and as a complete public service, blogdai offers herewith, a guide to help you filter out the wheat from the chaff. We here at the blogdai complex have compiled a list of indicator phrases that, if encountered during your reading, have been shown to lead directly into paragraphs of time-wasting, intelligence-insulting and perhaps convulsion-inducing droning centered around moot, redundant or improbable observations. When you see these phrases in print, condition yourself to say "I don't care what comes next" and move on to your next click. With a little practice it will eventually happen automatically.

So...

STOP READING AFTER YOU SEE:

"UN Director Robert Piper touted Nepal's progress in...."
"......Student's Union called for a bandh...."
"Today, a Texas Republican said........"
"Nepali Leaders failed to reach an agreement today on..."
"A UNDP report on Nepal said...."
"If the UN wants to be more effective in Nepal it must..."
"We in the European Union call on China to address..."
"For the good of the people, Nepali politicians must...."
"The Prime Minister flew to India today and met with..."
"We in Nepal need to form a political consensus on..."
"In a speech today, Gagan Thapa said...."
"Today, members of Nepal's Parliament met to discuss modalities..."
"Baidya today said he would take to the streets if...."
"Nepali politicians today again failed to..."
"Nepali politicians today..."
"Nepali politicians...."
"Sujata Koirala...."

Kind of reads like a Haiku of disfunction, doesn't it?

-=blogdai








5 Comments:

At 8:01 AM, December 15, 2012, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can't tell you how many times I've read sentences like these and said, here we go again. Like reading the same stuff over and over.

 
At 7:16 PM, December 19, 2012, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hilarious.

 
At 9:31 PM, January 18, 2013, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh hell, what is this? I'll take it as a proofreading guide.

 
At 5:55 AM, February 23, 2013, Anonymous samit said...

hahaha nice collection

 
At 8:40 AM, July 22, 2013, Blogger koli ullah said...

Nice collection. Read the site more and more for better knowledge. Clipping Path

 

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